So I haven't been on here in a while.
5/26/2008 06:01:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Some much has happened to me in the course of the last several months.
1. I quit my job at RDU- I was being sexually harassed by a supervisor. I had gone to the managers over his head three times about it but their basic reaction was that of the "good ole boy" system.........I will take care of it. They did tell me that HR was aware of what was going on in case it got worse. SO they basically kept telling him to leave me alone every time that I would go down and complain on him. I think that it basically boiled down to the fact that he wasn't my immediate supervisor so that didn't really care about the whole thing. I knew that they were just wanting me to shut up about it and move on since I was getting the feeling that they didn't believe me. That supervisor had been working there since roll-out over 5 years ago and they never had any problems what so ever with him. I had only been there a year. Two days after my last complaint on him he had called me and said that if I were to meet up with him and talk about the whole thing he would leave me alone if he saw that that was what I really wanted. So stupidly I agreed. Well I agreed to meet him before I went to work the next day and when he showed up I could see that he had been drinking. So a fight ensues and as I start the car he reaches in through the window and bends my ignition key as he turns off my car and throws the key away from my car. As I get out to retrieve it, he pushes me down the hill to where the key was. I reach for my phone to call the cops and he comes at me. I ran up the hill to where my car was parked and tried to keep the car between he and I. Finally he leaves when people start coming over because they see him chasing me. I called my husband and told him what had happened and that I would need the other key to the car just to be able to start it. He was furious. When he got there he called the guy to tell him to leave me alone and to call him every name in the book and what he thought of him. The police get there and get my side of the story and after calling him, he tells them that we were dating and that he was breaking up with me and that I WENT OFF ON HIM! So and wouldn't you know, the police start saying that his story makes better sense, and am I sure that I don't want to tell them what really happened. The cops thought that I was lying about not dating him. So after the police get off the phone with him, that supervisor decides to call my husbands work to say that my husband was going to kill him (my husband never said that, I was standing right there listening to him on the phone). He was just trying to get at my hubby because he got yelled at by my husband. My hubby then gets put on admin leave within 2 hours of getting that call. Several hours later that supervisor CALLS MY HUSBAND and asks in a smart ass tone if he had gotten fired and if he had he was glad because then I would want to leave my husband because of it. So the next day on the last day in August I had gone into work and I just couldn't bring myself to walk past where he worked to where I worked. I went into the office and basically went off on them for not doing anything about the whole thing and quit that day. NOW HERE'S THE GOOD PART. The very next day I go over to HR to turn in my uniform and they knew NOTHING about the whole thing. They thought that I was quitting because I had gotten a new job. The look on their faces was priceless when I told them everything that had been going on for the last 6 months. I told them that I had spoken to his managers about it, that HR had been informed, that they were going to put an end to it and never did, and that I was just assaulted by him the previous day. Nothing happened. So I go about life and two weeks later I start getting all of these calls from HQ in Washington D.C. from TSAs' lawyers. They wanted to investigate what had gone on and everything else. (The airport that I worked at was in the process of dealing with another supervisor and his TWO claims of sexual harassment against him, funny thing is that the supervisor harassing me and the other supervisor were best friends.) I told them that I had left and that I never planned on going back there, even to fly out, as long as I knew that he was there. My hubby and I both knew that they were worried that I was going to sue knowing very well that I had a huge case and would have won for sure. I decided against it though. I didn't want to go through all of that. I was already stressed out by the whole thing that my doctor had to write two prescriptions for me.....one to help calm me down and one to help me fall asleep. That whole ordeal put a huge stress on my husband and I. So.....
2. I decided to go back to school- I just saw it as one door closing, one door opening kind of thing. I applied at Watts and got in. I later found out that they only take the top 15% of all applicants and of that 15%, I was the top 2%!!!! So I am enrolled at Mt. Olive in their accelerated associates program. They cram 2 years worth of classes into 6 months. Fun right? Then once I am finished I will be in Watts for their nursing program. I am so glad that I will finally have a real career as opposed to something that I can just go and pick up an application to work at. I want my daughter to have parents that she can look up to. My husband went to college and I want to be able to tell her that I did as well. Plus I want to be able to help pay for her private school since I know that will be expensive when she is old enough to go. I was once asked if nursing was something that I wanted to go into, my answer would be yes. I know that this would be a great career for me as I love to help people and I am a people person and to be able to work in a field such as this will give me opportunity to work anywhere with in the medical field that I want. I would love to work in pediatrics one day.
3. I am no longer in contact with my family. That bitch of a biological mother has finally burned her last bridge with me. I got tired of her childish ways over a year ago and decided never to speak with her again......or until she at least decides to grow up. I doubt that I will even talk to her even if she does. I recently invited my sister down to visit and basically she was my mothers spy. Gathering intel as I know now. My sister the entire time she was here was belittling my husband and I for the way we live our life. My sister thinks that she is perfect because she is a vegetarian. My sister was accusing me of being bulimic, abusive, and bossy. Just because I weigh as much I used to in high school in her eyes proves that. Not everyone when they get out of high school blows up like she did. I am abusive because I smack my husband on his arm when he does or says something stupid and because I yell at my daughter when she is about to do something wrong. I explained to her that any two year old will cry when told no when they want to do something. She even goes so far as to give my best friends mom parenting advise on how to raise their youngest child..........all this coming from a person who has never had kids!!! So while my sister was here she was chastising me about not talking to mom. She told me that mom wanted to talk to me. My sister kept going on and on and on and on about it. My husband even told her to drop it and she wouldn't. I finally told her to get out and she wouldn't. I had to push her out the door to make her leave. I just didn't want to fight about it. She wouldn't drop it. So after she left, she called mom saying I kicked her out and she had no where to go. Mom then tries calling me and when I answer before she can even get a word in, I tell her to never fucking call me again and that I hated her (Extreme I know but I hate her more than anyone I know.) So I call my sister tell her to come back . She wouldn't drop it even after she got back. She was trying to pick a fight with me over it......AGAIN! Finally I told her that if she didn't shut up she would have to leave. Brian then made her go to her room for the rest of the night. Next day she stays in her room until like 2. Brian and I had just finished making and eating lunch when she came out. She goes outside where I was smoking a cigarette and asks me for one. I tell her no. She then goes off on me saying I was being mean for not giving her one or the money to go and buy some and that we weren't letting her eat and that she supposed we were just going to starve her for the remainder of the time that she was going to be there (which was 3 days). I politely remind her that I didn't HAVE to buy her cigarettes. (At this point I have already given her 4 packs and she had money....she just didn't want to spend it) and that she was old enough to go and fix her own vegetarian meals (She is 25 and Brian and I made a meal with MEAT IN IT). She then stomps back off to her room. I come in tell Brian what had just happened and at that point he and I were both on the same page......that bitch was out of here. I wasn't going to live like that for the next two days nor did I want my daughter going through all of that. So we lied in order to get her out. We told her that we called the airline (we didn't) and that she would be on stand by at the airport for the next flight out instead of leaving in two days. Well airlines wont do that without you paying to change your travel plans (we didn't tell her that either and I didn't care). So within 30 minutes we were on our way to the airport, she was dropped off like trash and I am no longer speaking to her. So about a week later I get a knock on my door. DSS was called. As soon as the gentlemen came in and explained why he was there and began to read off the list of complaints I knew exactly who it was......my mother. The list went as follows.
1. I drink around my daughter.......hmmmm, ok and what the rest of the world doesn't drink around their kids. I mean I can remember my mother drinking so much when we were kids that she would pass out......before dinner. So there we were 4 of us kids all under the age of 6 with no one to feed or supervise us. I will drink ONE or TWO beers every now and then WITH dinner.
2. That I am estranged from my mother........seriously that was a complaint.
3. That I was raised in an extremely physically abusive environment as a kid.......ok, WTF?
4. That I am bulimic......again, WTF?
5. That I am abusive towards Brian and Kaity...........Ok so I smack Brian on the arm when he does something stupid and I raise my voice to Kaity when she is about to do something she shouldn't. I have nor will I ever hit her. BOTH my father and my mother abused as kids, my dad was just far far far far FAR FAR worse then she was. She did beat us when we were little. She denies that to this day.....she also still denies her drinking to.
Of that list only ONE pertains to my daughter.......that I yell at her BUT because she called they HAD to come out. It was just my mothers juvenile way of getting her "last word in". So Brian and I sat there and explained to this man over the course of 30 minutes about why he was really and truly here at our home. After he heard all of that and stopped laughing he left and we never heard anything back about it. I guess all of her claims were unsubstantiated ;)!!!! What a stupid bitch. I just know that this has to be killing her.......my mother feeds off of drama and she will no longer know anything about me as I have cut myself off from my entire family. I mean if she only just acted like a mother instead of how she acts now things might have been different. She will pit one of her siblings against another just so she can watch the scene as it unfolds.......seriously I am not making that up, that's what she does. That's why I stopped talking to her over a year ago because I got into the middle of it with my younger sister. My mother told my sister that I was saying all of these things about her. I never said a word about anything. I called my mom one day and asked how my younger sister and her hubby were doing. I get a phone call from my youngest and she proceeds to go off on me about why I was calling her a bad mother and wife. WTF? How did a conversation I had with my mother about how my sister was doing go to that? So of course I tried to explain to my sister but couldn't get a word in at all. All she would do was yell and curse at me. I hung up on her but that only fueled her fire. I called my mom and blew up on her and vowed that I would never speak to her again. My mother to this day "doesn't" remember that incident and believes that she has done nothing to me. So she tried to keep contacting me by sending me cards and such but I would just rip them in half and throw them away with out reading them. I am just hopefully that both of my sisters and mother will FINALLY leave me alone. Like I told Brian, as far as I am concerned, I am an only child whose parents are both dead. If only that were true.........
So I am now moving on. I have made the cognitive decision that I don't want that bitch in my life nor does my daughter need to be introduced into the world of my mothers drinking induced dementia. She doesn't need to know either of my sisters or my brother. My daughter has my surrogate parents and my husbands parents as her grandparents.
Gosh that was alot, I am just glad that now that my daughter is older I will have a little more time to get on here and write. Getting stuff off my chest instead of harboring stress will do me a world of good.
1. I quit my job at RDU- I was being sexually harassed by a supervisor. I had gone to the managers over his head three times about it but their basic reaction was that of the "good ole boy" system.........I will take care of it. They did tell me that HR was aware of what was going on in case it got worse. SO they basically kept telling him to leave me alone every time that I would go down and complain on him. I think that it basically boiled down to the fact that he wasn't my immediate supervisor so that didn't really care about the whole thing. I knew that they were just wanting me to shut up about it and move on since I was getting the feeling that they didn't believe me. That supervisor had been working there since roll-out over 5 years ago and they never had any problems what so ever with him. I had only been there a year. Two days after my last complaint on him he had called me and said that if I were to meet up with him and talk about the whole thing he would leave me alone if he saw that that was what I really wanted. So stupidly I agreed. Well I agreed to meet him before I went to work the next day and when he showed up I could see that he had been drinking. So a fight ensues and as I start the car he reaches in through the window and bends my ignition key as he turns off my car and throws the key away from my car. As I get out to retrieve it, he pushes me down the hill to where the key was. I reach for my phone to call the cops and he comes at me. I ran up the hill to where my car was parked and tried to keep the car between he and I. Finally he leaves when people start coming over because they see him chasing me. I called my husband and told him what had happened and that I would need the other key to the car just to be able to start it. He was furious. When he got there he called the guy to tell him to leave me alone and to call him every name in the book and what he thought of him. The police get there and get my side of the story and after calling him, he tells them that we were dating and that he was breaking up with me and that I WENT OFF ON HIM! So and wouldn't you know, the police start saying that his story makes better sense, and am I sure that I don't want to tell them what really happened. The cops thought that I was lying about not dating him. So after the police get off the phone with him, that supervisor decides to call my husbands work to say that my husband was going to kill him (my husband never said that, I was standing right there listening to him on the phone). He was just trying to get at my hubby because he got yelled at by my husband. My hubby then gets put on admin leave within 2 hours of getting that call. Several hours later that supervisor CALLS MY HUSBAND and asks in a smart ass tone if he had gotten fired and if he had he was glad because then I would want to leave my husband because of it. So the next day on the last day in August I had gone into work and I just couldn't bring myself to walk past where he worked to where I worked. I went into the office and basically went off on them for not doing anything about the whole thing and quit that day. NOW HERE'S THE GOOD PART. The very next day I go over to HR to turn in my uniform and they knew NOTHING about the whole thing. They thought that I was quitting because I had gotten a new job. The look on their faces was priceless when I told them everything that had been going on for the last 6 months. I told them that I had spoken to his managers about it, that HR had been informed, that they were going to put an end to it and never did, and that I was just assaulted by him the previous day. Nothing happened. So I go about life and two weeks later I start getting all of these calls from HQ in Washington D.C. from TSAs' lawyers. They wanted to investigate what had gone on and everything else. (The airport that I worked at was in the process of dealing with another supervisor and his TWO claims of sexual harassment against him, funny thing is that the supervisor harassing me and the other supervisor were best friends.) I told them that I had left and that I never planned on going back there, even to fly out, as long as I knew that he was there. My hubby and I both knew that they were worried that I was going to sue knowing very well that I had a huge case and would have won for sure. I decided against it though. I didn't want to go through all of that. I was already stressed out by the whole thing that my doctor had to write two prescriptions for me.....one to help calm me down and one to help me fall asleep. That whole ordeal put a huge stress on my husband and I. So.....
2. I decided to go back to school- I just saw it as one door closing, one door opening kind of thing. I applied at Watts and got in. I later found out that they only take the top 15% of all applicants and of that 15%, I was the top 2%!!!! So I am enrolled at Mt. Olive in their accelerated associates program. They cram 2 years worth of classes into 6 months. Fun right? Then once I am finished I will be in Watts for their nursing program. I am so glad that I will finally have a real career as opposed to something that I can just go and pick up an application to work at. I want my daughter to have parents that she can look up to. My husband went to college and I want to be able to tell her that I did as well. Plus I want to be able to help pay for her private school since I know that will be expensive when she is old enough to go. I was once asked if nursing was something that I wanted to go into, my answer would be yes. I know that this would be a great career for me as I love to help people and I am a people person and to be able to work in a field such as this will give me opportunity to work anywhere with in the medical field that I want. I would love to work in pediatrics one day.
3. I am no longer in contact with my family. That bitch of a biological mother has finally burned her last bridge with me. I got tired of her childish ways over a year ago and decided never to speak with her again......or until she at least decides to grow up. I doubt that I will even talk to her even if she does. I recently invited my sister down to visit and basically she was my mothers spy. Gathering intel as I know now. My sister the entire time she was here was belittling my husband and I for the way we live our life. My sister thinks that she is perfect because she is a vegetarian. My sister was accusing me of being bulimic, abusive, and bossy. Just because I weigh as much I used to in high school in her eyes proves that. Not everyone when they get out of high school blows up like she did. I am abusive because I smack my husband on his arm when he does or says something stupid and because I yell at my daughter when she is about to do something wrong. I explained to her that any two year old will cry when told no when they want to do something. She even goes so far as to give my best friends mom parenting advise on how to raise their youngest child..........all this coming from a person who has never had kids!!! So while my sister was here she was chastising me about not talking to mom. She told me that mom wanted to talk to me. My sister kept going on and on and on and on about it. My husband even told her to drop it and she wouldn't. I finally told her to get out and she wouldn't. I had to push her out the door to make her leave. I just didn't want to fight about it. She wouldn't drop it. So after she left, she called mom saying I kicked her out and she had no where to go. Mom then tries calling me and when I answer before she can even get a word in, I tell her to never fucking call me again and that I hated her (Extreme I know but I hate her more than anyone I know.) So I call my sister tell her to come back . She wouldn't drop it even after she got back. She was trying to pick a fight with me over it......AGAIN! Finally I told her that if she didn't shut up she would have to leave. Brian then made her go to her room for the rest of the night. Next day she stays in her room until like 2. Brian and I had just finished making and eating lunch when she came out. She goes outside where I was smoking a cigarette and asks me for one. I tell her no. She then goes off on me saying I was being mean for not giving her one or the money to go and buy some and that we weren't letting her eat and that she supposed we were just going to starve her for the remainder of the time that she was going to be there (which was 3 days). I politely remind her that I didn't HAVE to buy her cigarettes. (At this point I have already given her 4 packs and she had money....she just didn't want to spend it) and that she was old enough to go and fix her own vegetarian meals (She is 25 and Brian and I made a meal with MEAT IN IT). She then stomps back off to her room. I come in tell Brian what had just happened and at that point he and I were both on the same page......that bitch was out of here. I wasn't going to live like that for the next two days nor did I want my daughter going through all of that. So we lied in order to get her out. We told her that we called the airline (we didn't) and that she would be on stand by at the airport for the next flight out instead of leaving in two days. Well airlines wont do that without you paying to change your travel plans (we didn't tell her that either and I didn't care). So within 30 minutes we were on our way to the airport, she was dropped off like trash and I am no longer speaking to her. So about a week later I get a knock on my door. DSS was called. As soon as the gentlemen came in and explained why he was there and began to read off the list of complaints I knew exactly who it was......my mother. The list went as follows.
1. I drink around my daughter.......hmmmm, ok and what the rest of the world doesn't drink around their kids. I mean I can remember my mother drinking so much when we were kids that she would pass out......before dinner. So there we were 4 of us kids all under the age of 6 with no one to feed or supervise us. I will drink ONE or TWO beers every now and then WITH dinner.
2. That I am estranged from my mother........seriously that was a complaint.
3. That I was raised in an extremely physically abusive environment as a kid.......ok, WTF?
4. That I am bulimic......again, WTF?
5. That I am abusive towards Brian and Kaity...........Ok so I smack Brian on the arm when he does something stupid and I raise my voice to Kaity when she is about to do something she shouldn't. I have nor will I ever hit her. BOTH my father and my mother abused as kids, my dad was just far far far far FAR FAR worse then she was. She did beat us when we were little. She denies that to this day.....she also still denies her drinking to.
Of that list only ONE pertains to my daughter.......that I yell at her BUT because she called they HAD to come out. It was just my mothers juvenile way of getting her "last word in". So Brian and I sat there and explained to this man over the course of 30 minutes about why he was really and truly here at our home. After he heard all of that and stopped laughing he left and we never heard anything back about it. I guess all of her claims were unsubstantiated ;)!!!! What a stupid bitch. I just know that this has to be killing her.......my mother feeds off of drama and she will no longer know anything about me as I have cut myself off from my entire family. I mean if she only just acted like a mother instead of how she acts now things might have been different. She will pit one of her siblings against another just so she can watch the scene as it unfolds.......seriously I am not making that up, that's what she does. That's why I stopped talking to her over a year ago because I got into the middle of it with my younger sister. My mother told my sister that I was saying all of these things about her. I never said a word about anything. I called my mom one day and asked how my younger sister and her hubby were doing. I get a phone call from my youngest and she proceeds to go off on me about why I was calling her a bad mother and wife. WTF? How did a conversation I had with my mother about how my sister was doing go to that? So of course I tried to explain to my sister but couldn't get a word in at all. All she would do was yell and curse at me. I hung up on her but that only fueled her fire. I called my mom and blew up on her and vowed that I would never speak to her again. My mother to this day "doesn't" remember that incident and believes that she has done nothing to me. So she tried to keep contacting me by sending me cards and such but I would just rip them in half and throw them away with out reading them. I am just hopefully that both of my sisters and mother will FINALLY leave me alone. Like I told Brian, as far as I am concerned, I am an only child whose parents are both dead. If only that were true.........
So I am now moving on. I have made the cognitive decision that I don't want that bitch in my life nor does my daughter need to be introduced into the world of my mothers drinking induced dementia. She doesn't need to know either of my sisters or my brother. My daughter has my surrogate parents and my husbands parents as her grandparents.
Gosh that was alot, I am just glad that now that my daughter is older I will have a little more time to get on here and write. Getting stuff off my chest instead of harboring stress will do me a world of good.
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